I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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