Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
