Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
