literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
