her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
