Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize