I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
