I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
