Got a toothbrush?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just want to make out with him forever
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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