Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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