haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
