But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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