Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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