About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
