Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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