Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
