I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
