Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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