Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
