they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
