i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
