omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
