everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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