you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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