my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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