so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
