What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
