no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
