she was so not down for the gang bang
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize