I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
