OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
