we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize