i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
