Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
