Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
