Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
