Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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