Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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