Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
