Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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