No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
