it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
