Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No subtext here. People are naked.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
