Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
