remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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