Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize