I am puke
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
