Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize