he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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