I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
