Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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