you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize