She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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