we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
