new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize