You work out of a Hotel?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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