Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize