i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you didnt know i had herpes?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
