Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
