How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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