every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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