he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
