doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
