Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The air was thick with penises
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize