How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
