I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
