We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
