Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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