Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
