just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
