This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
