She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
