We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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