Buhtt sex?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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