what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
