That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
